My Monday Realization

First off, I like to say how proud I am of my friend Natalie. She's recently made a lot of changes that are making her health a priority. She's eating right and exercising and it's working. She lost a significant amount of weight.

When Natalie and I had lunch last week, she pointed out one of the not-so-good things about losing weight: excess skin. Natalie has lost enough weight to notice that she now has excess skin. I realized this about 30lbs ago! Plus, let's not forget about stretch marks!

I just want to put this out there: excess skin and stretch marks suck. It makes you look bigger than you are and it's not very attractive. I've worked so hard and it feels like a slap in the face. It's like the universe is saying: "Ha ha fatso! You thought that all you had to do is eat well and exercise and there wouldn't be any lasting effects of your status as a obese person!"

I decided to blog about this because today I was looking in the mirror while washing my hands in the washroom at work and notice a depressing fact: I have stretch marks on my neck. Seriously. WTF??!! Was my face THAT fat that I had THAT much excess skin??!!!

Listen, I'm a pro at complaining. When putting excess skin and stretch marks in perspective, it really isn't so bad. Would I rather still be over 300lbs or would I rather weigh A LOT less and have some excess skin and visible stretch marks? Really, I'd rather have it all of course! But since I can't, I'd rather weigh less.

So Natalie, we will continue to be healthy and lose weight...which will unfortunately lead to excess skin and visible stretch marks. We'll just call them battle scars, okay?!

Running is hard

Some annoying person once said something like "nothing is worth doing unless it's hard".
First of all, that's a total crock. Lots of things are worth doing and they are fun and easy. Example #1: Blogging. Easy and fun.

Conversely, in the fitness world, easy isn't worth much. You have to keep challenging yourself to keep improving your fitness level. When I started, 20 minutes on an exercise bike at the lowest setting was hell on earth. Now, I would consider that a warm-up (and an easy one at that).

In the fall, I started to run. To this day, I run slightly faster than people who walk fast. That's not really the point though. It's hard and it challenges me...a lot! In January, I ran my first and only (so far) 5k. Shortly after that, I had this persistent pain in my leg that turned out to be a sciatic nerve problem. I did the only I could do to help it heal: rest. So, for 2 months, I didn't run. That doesn't mean that I sat around my house and did nothing. I kept my fitness level up by going to kettlebell class 4-5 times a week.

I went running yesterday morning with a good friend of mine. Évelyne is eighteen and a freaking MACHINE! She is so strong. She amazes me. Anyway, we ran about 4k and then went to our 45-minute kettlebell class. By the way, I slept SO well last night! Today, I decided to go running again by myself. It's such a beautiful day!

I don't remember much from either run. But the one big thing that stands out is how mother freaking hard it was! It was hard before I took a 2-month break. It's even harder now.

From a fitness point of view, that means that it's worth doing.

Injuries

On Sunday afternoon, I went to my kettlebell class. When doing jump lunges, I jumped incorrectly and slightly sprained my left ankle. Even though it is only a slight sprain, it still hurts and is a big pain in the butt.

If only this was my only nagging injury! Sigh...it's not.

My friend Dave says that, when you train as much as we do, you're going to have minor injuries or, at least, aches and pains. I have all of the above!

Here's my list of injuries:

1. Weak left knee: I injured it like 10 years ago when I wasn't active. Being active means that I have to be careful not to aggravate it.

2. Right elbow: I injured it a while ago (I can't remember when - seriously). I think it's due to a repetitive stress injury...office jobs! It causes me to have limited mobility in the right arm. Consequently, my right arm is significantly weaker than my left...nevermind the pain.

3. Sciatic nerve: I get shooting pain down my left leg. It f'ing hurts.

This list does not include my aches and pains. I would love to have a day when my shoulders don't hurt!

I'm not meaning to complain about injuries, aches and pains even though it sounds like I am. They are my reality. My point here is that they are a part of most active people's reality. You have to deal with them. Ignoring them will not make them go away. I have to keep all my injuries in mind when I exercise. To do anything else would just be stupid and I would risk hurting myself further.

Sure, there's stuff I can't do because of my injuries. I always find alternatives that still challenge me. Because, isn't that what's important? The challenge.

BTW...hasn't lost any weight in 3 months...F?&*%&?))&?$#@#$$#!!!

Positive Thoughts

Valentine's Day will be over shortly for another year. Although I am certainly not a romantic - generally, I'm just too practical for romance - I have to say that this year Valentine's Day has made me reflect on what I have in my life. Lately, with my plateau and my various injuries being a huge annoyance, I've been focusing a lot on the negative. I like to think that I'm a pretty positive person so I need to get out of this funk and back on the right track.

I know that it isn't Thanksgiving, but Valentine's Day, a day meant to tell the people you love that you do indeed love them, seems like just as good a day as any to make a list of things I'm thankful for. Maybe these positive thoughts will get me in the right frame of mind. Plus, my friend Natalie really likes lists so I know I'm at least making one person happy!

1. I'm of course most grateful for the absolute love of my life: my son Samuel. I could burst from the love I have for this one little person. He's amazing and I made him. I don't think I could ever put into words how much I love him.

2. A close second is my husband Matt. He doesn't always (often) say the right thing but he's a good man and a good father. I'm thankful that we are partners in love and parenting.

3. I'm grateful for my parents...even though they give their opinions freely and think that I should do what they say even though I'm an adult. I guess you never stop being your parents' child. I'm kinda grateful for that too!

4. I'm thankful for my brother Eric. My brother has severe cerebral palsy. I grew up with a sick brother and, although it wasn't easy on any of us, I feel that I'm stronger yet more sympathetic for it. He unwilling taught me that.

5. I'm thankful for kettlebell and all the power, strength, energy, confidence and, most of all, friendship it has brought to my life.

6. I'm thankful for scrapbooking and my Divas! Thank goodness not everything is about exercise!

7. I'm grateful that I have a good job that keeps a roof over my family's head and food on the table.

8. I'm thankful for not letting my first impression of someone be the deciding factor. I won't name any names, but there's someone who is close to me now that I initially really didn't like. If I hadn't had given this person another look, I would have missed how amazing he/she is.

9. I'm grateful that Melanie picks me up for every kettlebell class. She keeps me motivated and the car is also warm when I get in!

10. I'm grateful for Karine's spa...because I get all the benefits of a spa with having to maintain it or pay for it! ;) I'm grateful for Karine too but she's covered under #5.

11. If I'm going to have an injury, I'm thankful that the person helping me get better, my physiotherapist, is nice to look at!


So that's my list. I could probably think of more. Really, I have a lot to be thankful for...but I have to go to bed now (seriously).

The gluten-free week

This is the beginning of my gluten-free week...which will eventually lead to my gluten-free month...I hope.

So where did this decision to go gluten-free come from? Well, I have a few nagging injuries that won't go away (that's another blog entry). I've been going to physio for awhile and I've been seeing some improvements but not enough for my liking.

My friend Samara, who seems to dislike when I call her hippie-dippie-trippie but who is, suggested that I go see her osteopath. Samara has a few health issues and has told me on many occasions how seeing her osteopath has improved her overall health. She has been trying to convince me to go to the osteopath for months now. I always thought that it was too granola for me. I'm a firm believer in traditional or main-stream medicine. But main-stream medicine hadn't managed, so far, to completely heal my injuries. My pain is a daily reminder of that fact. So, finally I thought, what the heck? It couldn't hurt so why not try it?

I had my first session with Samara's and now my osteopath this morning. Maybe I'm becoming less cynical with age but it wasn't as granola-ish as I thought it would be...or maybe Samara did a good job at preparing me! Either way, he had some suggestions for me. He believes that I have an iron, vitamin B12 and vitamin D absorption problem which may be preventing my immune system from letting certain things heal. I get enough in my diet but I have trouble absorbing these nutrients because of gluten. Therefore, eating a totally gluten-free diet is ideal.

For those who don't know, gluten is found in wheat, rye, barley and soya. The grains that are recommended are oats, rice, quinoa and corn. Of all the grains with gluten, soya is by far the hardest to stay away from. Soy is in everything! For example, I love roasted nuts. If you read the label, almost all roasted nuts have soy, including those sold in health food stores. My solution: I roasted my own peanuts in 20 minutes this afternoon.

Although more expensive than eating gluten products, eating gluten-free won't be very hard for me in my home. I don't eat much bread or pasta and there are lots of alternatives (rice pasta is quite good). It's eating in a restaurant or at another person's home that might be a problem. A restaurant is easy enough: go for a salad and ask if there's any soy in the dressing. Another person's home is a little trickier. How rude would it be to go to someone's home and say: "By the way, I don't eat gluten."? This isn't an allergy. Anyway, I hope my friends will still invite me over for supper and I hope they will try to accommodate me...

On my way home from the osteopath, I stopped at the health food store in Aylmer called SOL. I bought brown rice flour, oat flour, plain pecans and peanuts, rice pasta, gluten-free cereal, bread and mac & cheese! I wasn't feeling very creative for supper so I use the gluten-free bread to make grilled cheese sandwiches and I made the gluten-free mac & cheese. Both the bread and the mac & cheese were delicious! Too bad they cost twice the price of their gluten cousins!

The Superbowl and other diet killers

The Superbowl is this afternoon and people all around the world are preparing to, not only watch the game, but eat their way through the game.

Having never had a problem eating to excess, the Superbowl gives me a February excuse to eat myself silly. Listen, I could lie and tell you that I'm going to be good this year...but I know that's not going to happen.

This year, I'm in control of the menu. In years past, Matt and I attended Superbowl parties at our friends' home. Unfortunately, this year, our babysitters (my parents) are having their own Superbowl party at their place...how rude! ;) Kidding of course. My parents are allowed to have a social life and do not exist simply to provide us with free babysitting services. But it is a bit of a bummer because we were invited to our friends Suzanne and JF's house. Suzanne is a great cook and always makes really good stuff.

Alas, it was not meant to be this year...

Anyway, that's why Matt and I are having our Superbowl party for two (Sam will be in bed by then...YAY!). You would think that, since I'm in control of menu, that I would make a effort to only buy low calories\healthy snacks. Yeah, no. This is a Superbowl party!

The Superbowl got me thinking about other diet killers. Holidays are the obvious ones: Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter. But there are so many others! For example, birthday parties. I have two of those in the next week and a half.

If you're trying to lose weight, or even if you aren't but still want to be careful and make better food choices, you need some kind of strategy. Splurge a little and pick your spots. My strategy is to enjoy the Superbowl. Matt and I love football and we've been following the NFL all year. This is a fun day for us. Today is my cheat day. But that just means that I will have to be extra careful about what I put in my mouth for the next few weeks. It also means that I will need to make smart choices when I join friends for those two birthday celebrations this month.

My advice, let yourself have some fun with food once and awhile, or else you will go crazy. I know I will!

Plateau to losing 4.5lbs in a week

After plateauing for a whole month, I lost 4.5lbs last week. I just don't get my body.

I wish my body and I could have a heart-to-heart. I think it would go something like this:

Me: "Body, you need to listen to me. I work my ass off. I eat well. Cut me some slack already and shrink, okay?!"

Body: "HAHAHAHA! You're so funny Sarah!"

Me: "I asked nicely! C'mon!"

Body: "I'll think about it..."

A short time later...

Body: "Well, I've thought about it and I've decided that, after a period of reflection (4 weeks), I'm going to give you what you want. BUT, don't get used it. I reserve the right to not act rationally even when you do everything right. Being unpredictable is my strong suit."

Me: (under my breath) "Yes it is..."

My kettlebell instructor Dave keeps telling me that the word plateau is not true in my case. I keep working out and eating right, which means that I'm getting leaner, faster and stronger. He's right and I have to keep that in mind when my body decides to act up...

...the next time! Cause it wil.

Plateau, how I hate you

Plateau is a dirty word in Sarah's world. They suck. End of story.

I'm blogging about this because I'm in a plateau right now. This isn't my first, and I suspect that it won't be my last. What I find so frustrating about a plateau is that I don't know why it happens. If I knew what I was doing to cause it, I would stop doing that.

People's comments when you're in a plateau are so helpful! NOTE THE SARCASM If I hear: "Change up what you're doing" one more time, I might puke. Saying that to someone who is working out 5 to 7 times a week and only eats about 1200-1400 calories a day feels like a slap in the face. Change it up how??! Exercise MORE and eat LESS??! Bite me.

Man, that felt good!

Now that my venting is over, I'd like to tell everyone out there that plateaus pass. Each one of mine has in the past and I know it will again. In the mean time though, I'm having a severe motivation problem...plus all I want to do is eat. Not a good combo when you're trying to lose weight.

Being able to vent through this blog is helping me get through it. So are some of my good friend at KTK where I take my kettlebell classes. Thanks for all your continued support! A special thanks goes out to Dave who always seems to know when I need a pep talk.

Couch to 5k in January!

I was awesome yesterday! So maybe I didn't win any awards but that doesn't matter. Me and my fat self RAN a 5k yesterday in Richmond, ON (part of the city of Ottawa).

A little history: Maybe about a year ago, my friend Kathleen started running. She had gone through her own weight loss journey over the years and had decided that she wanted to try running. I thought she was nuts! I remember on many occasions saying to Kathleen and a few other people "I will never NEVER run!". It just goes to show that never say never is a pretty accurate expression.

I changed my mind about runnning in the fall of 2011. I don't remember what changed my mind. Maybe I was just looking for another challenge, I don't know. Regardless, I bought some gear and started running.

I used a program called Couch to 5k in 10 weeks. In theory, within 10 weeks, you should be able to run 5k. The problem with Couch to 5k is that it assumes that you will run 5k in 30 minutes by the end of 10 weeks. That's not me, but I knew that when I started.

Week 1 was so difficult! I had to run 60 seconds and walk 90 seconds for 20 minutes 3 times during the week. Longest 60 seconds of my freaking life! Week 2 was running 90 seconds and walking 2 minutes 3 times during the week. Eventually, you make your way to running for longer stretches and the walking time decreases.

When I started getting a little more serious about my running, Kathleen asked if I wanted to run a 5k with her in (wait for it) JANUARY! At the time, I was in denial and thought, how bad can it be? But that was something like 3 months before the date of the race and no snow had hit the ground yet. We seem to forget how bad winter can be in this little corner of the world.

Waking up Sunday morning, my worst fear came true: it was cold outside! I know, in January?! No! What a shocker! Sarcasm aside, it wasn't just cold...it was freaking cold! -22C WITHOUT windshield! BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!

Kathleen called me in the morning to confirm that we were still going...we convinced each other that we had to try. We only headed outside to stand at the starting line like 2 minutes before the start of the race. At one point, Kat turned to me and said something like: There is a fine line between brave and crazy. She thought we were crazy. I couldn't disagree with her.

By the first k, I was warmed up. By about 3.5k, I wished I was never born! I remember turning to Kat and demanding to know, rather emphatically, where the 4k marker was. Once we hit the 4k mark, I knew I could finish...and I did. I ran the whole thing! It was amazing and I'm so proud of myself. I set a goal and I achieved it. My time did not matter (45:45 BTW...slightly faster than the people walking it but who's counting...). What mattered was that I did it. I continue to surprise myself. I'm much tougher than I think I am.

The nice people at the Richmond Road Race were nice enough to serve us lunch (inside - thank GOD!) after the race. Best soup of my life!

My Ode to Kettlebell

If you don’t know what a kettlebell is, you’re not alone! However, you don’t know what you’ve been missing all your life. Just to educate you, here is what kettlebells look like.

As you might have guessed, they are used for exercise. Now, I’m not suggesting that everyone go out and buy themselves one. I firmly believe that you need instruction to start off or you may find yourself with a big, heavy cast-iron ball landing on your head. It’s also not very beneficial if you only use it as a free weight so learning the techniques from a certified kettlebell instructor is the way to go.

If you are interested, there are courses given in a few gyms in the Ottawa/Gatineau area. I attend four classes a week (Yes, four cause it’s AWESOME!) at KTK. Here is the website if you’re interested: http://ktk.ca/

*BTW, KTK did not pay me for this. I pay them for the right to come to classes. I only promote them because of my experience there.*

I discovered kettlebell through a co-worker of mine in November 2010. In my blog entries to come, I will probably mention him a few times because he has been one of my biggest supporters through this process. Dave, I am so thankful that you told me about this! I had been going to the gym for a while and was getting bored with it. I needed something new. Kettlebell was something new alright!

I was so nervous before my first class! But I went, I learned, I moved and two days later…I was in SEVERE PAIN!!! OMG it was awful! Now, I DID NOT hurt myself. The pain was muscular. My legs were mush. I had to fall onto the toilet or into a chair. Leg muscles that I never knew existed were screaming at me. All that pain told me one thing: I was doing something right.

I went back and I kept going back. I am so much stronger for it. I’m not necessarily recommending this exercise for everyone.  I think the moral of my story is, find an exercise that you love and brings you a sense of accomplishment.

Today, I amaze myself by what I can do during a class…things I never thought I’d be able to accomplish. 1000 swings in one evening…now that was amazing! I’m going to have a separate blog entry for that one.

However, what I’m most grateful for is not the physical stuff. I’m most grateful for the incredible sense of family that it has brought to my life. It honestly makes me cry when I think of all the people I do kettlebell with who, not only give so much of themselves on the mat, but also give so much to me. I realize that a lot of my strength comes from within. But I wouldn’t be nearly as strong without Karine, Isabelle, Mélanie, Évelyne, Pierrette, Youness, Josée, JP, Bruno…and of course our fantastic instructors Dave, Marc-André and Yves.  Life would not be as loud, intense, funny, sweaty and fit without them.

I hope they know how much their support means to me and how much it helps me persevere to attain my weight loss and fitness goals. I also hope that they know how much richer my life is with them as a part of it.

AROOO! KTK!

My first workout

I remember my first workout with a bit of a coy smile. I smile because I was a mess! It was February 2010 and I remember being so nervous when I showed up at the gym. I was the fat girl in a sea of in-shape people, or at least, that's what I thought at the time.

After a quick stretch (which I now know is somewhat pointless - that's another blog entry as well...), I remember getting on an exercise bike...and getting off panting after 20 minutes. It was so much harder than I had thought! I wanted to die. Of course, I didn't. And I was back two days later for another short workout.

I'm not intending this blog as a place where I give advice to people who want to get in shape and lose weight. What I detail here is my experience. I have absolutely no expertise on how to do this except for my own experience. However, if I were to give a piece of advice to a very overweight person starting an exercise routine (after consulting with their doctor of course), it would be to start slow. 20 minute workouts of light to medium intensity exercise.

As you might expect, within a few weeks, the 20 minutes on the exercise bike wasn't hard anymore. Quickly, I had to up the resistance and during of my cardio workouts. It's amazing how fast it happens!

2 years later...

So, two years after I've started this journey, I've lost 75lbs. Woohoo for me! Although, I'm proud, I say that with that with a bit of sarcasm. Frankly, I've thought I'd be further ahead. You see these weight loss commercials and watch The Biggest Loser and you think: If I just start moving a little and watch what I eat, the weight will just melt off.

Yeah, no. Maybe for other people but not for me. I must have the slowest metabolism in the history of the world. Oh, yeah and there's the food thing...which is another blog entry in itself.

Most of the time, I can see the positive and be happy with all I've accomplished. The road ahead is long but managable based of what I've done so far. But there's always that voice of doubt. Once and awhile, I look at what I've done and I think, that's it? Really? REALLY?! And I have how much left to lose? HOW MUCH?!

Right now, I'm a little down about it. Blogging helps though so I think I'll keep going.

My First Blog Entry

In the beginning, there was me, Sarah, a 28 year old wife to Matt and mom to 2 year old Sam. The kicker was that I was over 300 lbs...309 to be exact. I was fat, obese, huge, or whatever awful word goes with being overweight.

Sidebar: Is there an uglier word out there than 'obese'? And I don't mean the meaning of the word. I mean the sound of it. It just sounds greasy. I hate it.

It was January 2010 and I was done. I was done being this lazy person who didn't do anything. I was joining the gym! And the seas parted and I lost weight super fast like on those weight loss commercials, right...?

Ah non.

It's just not that easy. In fact, two years into my weight loss journey, I can say without a doubt that it's way harder than I ever thought it would be.

I never thought that I would write a blog about my journey. This subject is intensely personal and telling people my weight isn't something I like to do. The reason I decided to start writing is due to the suggestion of my friend Diane.

Ah Diane...supportive to a fault! My Scrapbooking Divas (Yes, I scrapbook. Mostly with 3 women, Diane, Natalie and Nathalie. We call ourselves the Scrapbooking Divas...that's a whole other blog entry) and I we were talking blogs. Natalie and Nathalie each had one to document their scrapbooking adventures. This is when Diane suggested I should write one about my weight loss.

I initially brushed off the suggestion. I didn't have time for a blog! I barely have time for TV (still one of my favourite things to do - watch TV) let alone a blog. Then Christmas 2011 happened...

I had every intention of being good. I wasn't going to eat too much...Yeah, that didn't happen. Now that the new year has started, I'm having trouble getting motivated again and getting back into routine. I'm hoping that writing this blog will help to get and stay motivated.

We shall see...